8 Things I Wish I Knew Before Chemotherapy


Before starting chemotherapy I did not know what to expect, nor did I bother to research the treatments I was going to receive or the side effects that came along with each. In all honesty I was prepared to face the worst, but I was convinced the chemotherapy was going to kill me before the cancer ever did. It was difficult for me to accept the fact that it was either receive chemotherapy or allow the cancer to consume my entire body. I was stuck with a 50/50 chance of my body responding well to treatment or not. Though I started treatments with a positive mindset I was against the chemotherapy. I did not want any part of poison in my body. I would question the doctors logic. How did he know my body was going to accept the chemotherapy? How did he know the chemotherapy was not going to kill me? I had so many unanswered questions. But the reality is no one can know what your chances are, but God. 

I reached a point in my life where I understood I had no control over my life whatsoever and began to trust my doctor. I had surrendered my life to God from the beginning and accepted His will for my life. It isn't fair that I am sitting where I am...trying to fight for my life, but this does not compare to what millions of people are dealing with worldwide. My situation could be ten times worse. Yes, it sucks! But understanding that someone at this very moment is on their last breath of life, does not have a place to sleep, a plate of food, or an inch of faith has allowed me to refrain from dwelling on the fact that I have cancer. I choose to deal with my diagnosis differently and I think that it is the best way to overcome the pain.

8 Thing I wish I Knew...

1. Imagining yourself without hair is impossible!



There is no way around saving your hair during chemotherapy! People opt to shave their head completely, but I decided not too! After my first treatment,  I lost my hair two weeks later! What could have been my worst nightmare came true, but I was expecting it to happen. I decided not to shave my head completely and I was okay with that. I did trim my hair once I began to lose handfuls of it just because it was very traumatizing. However, my hair started growing back two days after it fell off !! Many people lose their eyelashes and eyebrows, but I did not. (But hey, the bright side is I get ready faster now than before haha). 

2. You literally look at yourself in the mirror all of the time! 



Yes! Chemotherapy does create a fluctuation in body weight! For me, the chemotherapy has made me gain a few pounds. When I started treatment, I was at 105 pounds and now almost three months in I am a solid 112 pounds! For many this seems like nothing. But because I am petite and short, gaining weight effected me very much. I love to stay fit, and although it is not completely impossible to do while on treatment, it is very hard! Water retention is unavoidable, but the way you manage your health is extremely important. Although I am feeling sick almost everyday, I remain active and push myself to get an hour workout in at least three times a week! I must admit, I do find myself always looking in the mirror and judging myself (It happens!).  It is hard to see the sudden change in your bodies appearance so quickly.

3. People feel just as awkward as you!


 It is important to understand that as much as it is awkward for you to confront friends and family, it is extremely awkward for friends and family to approach you. It is difficult for people to know exactly what to say to you, other than the usual "You will be okay," and "This will be over before you know it." Yes, this is not what you want to hear, but without a doubt it is the TRUTH! It feels like the end of the world, but it is not! I try to remain goofy as possible around my friends and family because that is just who I am. I enjoy joking and turning this entire cancer experience into a laugh! If not, misery will overpower your sanity!! 

4. You find yourself hungry every minute of the day!



Along with the chemotherapy I am given steroids to help with treatment. I constantly find myself asking the nurse, "Are the steroids going to make me gain weight?" Quite unusual to have an appetite while on chemotherapy, I do find myself hungry all of the time!! However, if I ate as much as my stomach growled I would probably be ten times my weight! I try to limit how much I eat and focus on eating healthier foods! 

5. Smelling everything has become unbearable.  


The one side effect I hate about chemotherapy is the ability to smell absolutely everything! I have gained some special senses that no one else can relate too in my household. 

6. The sloth life is officially real. 


On top of being sick all of the time, I am ALWAYS tired! I am constantly home because I do not have enough energy to do anything. Company and distractions are the best way to avoid boredom. 

7. Everything gets on your nerves!


Sometimes being moody and cranky just happens. Anyone who knows me, knows the silly side of me! I try to be happy and goofy almost everyday, but every now and then I have my moments (completely normal! I blame it on the steroids haha). 

8. Never forget who you are. 


If I allowed my diagnosis to overpower me I would probably be so miserable. The fact that my boobs turned against me is everything to make a joke about! Being a part of the itty bitty tity committee, who would think?!? So, if you are currently dealing with chemotherapy and having cancer just be positive and maintain that sense of humor! Life is full of choices and surprises and I do no intend on letting cancer ruin who I am! Neither should you. 


xoxo- Kristin. 




Comments

  1. I'm glad to see you dealing with this experience so positively. Positive vibes, positive life! Btw the gifs you added here are hilarious, love it!

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    1. Thank you, Karen! I hope you are doing well. I figure at this point in my life there is no way around the circumstance I am in, therefore, I just try to make the best of everyday and dealing with cancer. I have my moments, but its normal and expected. I am almost done! Sending you lots of love, xoxo!

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